Dying.. It looks so easy in the movies. A person just dies due to sickness and yet it’s been two years since the night that the fatal sickness crippled under my skin, stained my heart jet black and my clothes blood red and I’m still breathing. I wonder how my heart and lungs are still working knowing that..

….To the world I am just a worthless insect that everyone wants to crush.

To the world I am a caged animal, they point fingers at me.

To the world, I am a chewing gum under the seat that they accidentally come in contact with and are disgusted to their guts.

To the world, I am a rotten wound that heals slowly but leaves a mark as a reminder.

To the world, I’m a timebomb. They need to learn that everything with a clock doesn’t blow up.

To the world, I am a book of pornography that everyone wants to read but no one wants to be seen holding.

To the world, I am an oppressed creature that would be better off dead.

To the world, I am a disgrace to my parents’ reputation…

Does a broken, pitiable, characterless raped girl like me have the right to ask a question without​ people turning their faces away from me? I have a question for this so called respectable society that disowns a raped victim and tells her she’s the one who’s at fault.

WHAT WAS MY FAULT?

…So I was at fault when I cried for help at the top of my lungs and no one came to rescue me, rather the people stood there or ran away from there.

I was at fault when I tried to help myself by struggling and broke my nails and various bones along with my hopes and dreams.

I was at fault when after they left me there half-naked on the ground numb with pain and longing for death no one bothered checking on me.   

I was at fault when not even the death came to my rescue and I walked shoeless and drenched in blood through the streets and the audience didn’t come near me.

I was at fault when I knocked the door of my parents’ home as a cry for help in front of everyone and became a disgrace to my parents’ reputation…

I was at fault so my life is a living hell and the guys who did this to me get to live in peace. Why? because being raped is a shameful thing and being a rapist is not?

Yes, I was raped but I no longer wear that shame as a dress. I no longer wear the perfume of regret. I no longer try to put together my broken heart because my pride is my armour. I’m proud that I survived. I survived.

tumblr_inline_mpn48mhcX91qz4rgp

Picture Source:- Google.

Advertisements

104 thoughts on “Yes I Was Raped.

    1. Thank you so much. You’re so kind and this world needs more people like you but I didn’t experience this it’s a first person narration of someone else’s experience.. I just wanted to create awareness.. ❤

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Wow… U have listened to the trauma of this abuse with ears wide open … this is what it feels like… i know… Bless u for wanting to be a voice for many silenced by shame:)

        Liked by 4 people

      1. But, it’s so brave of you to have depicted the truth in such an explicit manner. This is the real happening that happens with god knows how many women everyday. Your post has created awareness.

        Liked by 4 people

  1. i Commend you for your courage and will power to take control of your life.million of women in Muslim countries are victims of rape. little girls 9 years old are forced to marry men and get raped..i saw that in Iraq and Kuwait.thank you for following my blog and liking few of my posts. best wishes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words it really means a lot but I didn’t experience this myself it’s just a first person narration of someone else’s experience. I just wanted to create awareness through my blog..

      Like

    1. Harshal you’re so kind. Thank you so much❤❤ but this isn’t my experience it’s someone else’s experience I used first person narration to make it mor affective and to create awareness regarding such fragile matters.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Your post reminds me of the stories in Syria. I can’t describe in words what as a men I have felt.

    I can realise the trauma, that comes with it. The main thing, how to make that person, comes out of the trauma!

    Would I as a man, accept such woman? Would you as a sister or mother takes the courage to the hand of his brother / son / husband in the hands of such a woman?

    We need to make up our mind, to tackle this issue. Since I believe if we make up our mind, it’s not her fault, the stigma will remain the after effects will be considerably less, if you observe in the West as compared to East.

    Thank you so much for sharing and highlighting this issue.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re from Syria? I’ve heard all the stories.. being a Muslim it hurts me so much thinking that my sisters and brothers are being treated this way and I’m living here in peace.. Pakistan is a heaven.. I hope and I’ll pray that one day Syria will be the same way..

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I am from Pakistan sister, I am living in KSA for the past 10+ years, and working in a multilateral development Bank, so have loads of Syrian colleagues, plus get to know somethings first hand as well.

        In Pakistan, a lot of cases like in KSA goes underground because of family reputation.

        This goes to boys as well.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Sister, just pray for them, the situation is not good. Like not good at all. The camps situation is worst of all.

        If you think, the refugees are better than the ones who are behind, than are also having their worst.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. More of such post should be up the board 💖
    More people should take stand, not for friendship, but at least for humanity 😇
    Your post is full of emotions, I hope you’re friend is well now and happy as she used to be before the society ruined it.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Thank you my dearest sister for sharing your heart. I tell pieces of my story too. I was raped/abused from as long as I can remember at the age of 3 until about 11. I chose to heal and trust God’s sovereignty. I chose to forgive and yes I walk with my head held high. 💞. Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hello. Thank you for re-blogging this post. I read it a couple days ago. I agree 1000% awareness needs to be raised on the issue of rape. My blog is about my daughter’s sexual assault and tho my experience of being by her side through it cowers in comparison. I suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression as a result. Guilt and anger and shame of feeling that as a mother I somehow failed her. Failed to educAte her early enough failed to inform her of her rights as a woman to make a choice. Please join me in trying to raise awareness trying to help woman and girls find the voices to speak out. It’s never a womans fault. We are not to blame.
    Thank you again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s my original content. I wrote it back once when I was thinking about one of my acquaintance who went through this but kept this “assault” a secret but I somehow came to know and was unable to get her out of my mind. So I wrote about it to create awareness. I know exactly how you feel and being a mother it must be hundred times worse for you. All my prayers and thoughts go out to you and your daughter. I will always help you in whatever sort of help you wish from me. I will definitely use my writing to create more awareness.

      Like

  6. You, my beautiful girl, are just that, nothing less…i’m not talking about your face, which is equally so, but your spirit, your soul, your bravery, your resiliience, your mind, your perserverence, your compassion and passion that compells you to speak out, to tell your story, to refuse to let a brutal coward, a society void of humanity, a culture imprisoned by stupidity and fear break you, silence you or take away your power. You are beautiful, your words beyond inspiring.
    It is people you like you who do indeed change the world.
    Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your kind words have touched my heart but I just wanna tell you this is not my experience. One of my friends went through this and I blogged about it after taking her permission inorder to create awareness. I purposely used first person narration to add weight to my message, her message and every woman’s message to the society. Thank you for your support I’ll surely show this to her.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Much love for this post. You are very brave, I hope you know that.
    I’m a rape victim as well and can relate to much of what you wrote.
    Thank you for letting me know, I’m not alone ❤

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s