Dear Stranger Who Once Claimed To Love me,

Two days back I almost drowned in the fast rushing water along with half of my family. As two days have passed and my bruised and afflicted body has overcome the state of petrification, vague thoughts have become quite vivid. You know the worst and best part of it was that if I had died I would’ve died trying to save the people I love. I’m proud of myself for being alive and I would’ve been proud if I had died because I would’ve died for “love”.

48 hours after that incident the ruthless rain with thunder storm accompaniment outside my window has forced me to think about you.

It afflicts my tormented soul to think that..

... I would’ve died in the blues and you would’ve stayed alive oblivious of the burns, scars and pain you caused me every single day after you decided to pack your things and depart from my life without giving me any sort of justification. Was I not even worth saying goodbye to?

…I would’ve died without showing you the holes you made in my heart that nothing in the world can refill…

…oh and how my eyes have cried for nights flooding my own room with the memories of your whispers feeding my soul those sweet beautiful lies that my ears longed to hear…

.. how the smell of your body lingering through every corner of my house hits me like a hammer on my naive heart breaking it into thousands and thousands of pieces everytime I gasp for air..

.. how many a days I drowned myself in the shattered pieces of the promises you made and broke without a hint of guilt…

… I would’ve died and you would’ve remained oblivious of the suffering that you caused me…

..  but the truth is that you already know of the suffering you just don’t care. This thought gave me pause or at least a lash of sentimental static that I can’t quite elaborate in words right now.. alive or not either way love would’ve been the death of me…

Anyway the good part is that I made it out alive. You know when I was pulled out of water to the shore gasping out loud resting my body on a huge rock I knew this wasn’t just an ordinary accident. I knew God had given me and my family another chance and an another life.

I don’t know what I’ll do in this second life of mine but I’m pretty sure you don’t belong in this one so I just wrote this to tell you that when I was struggling in the gushing water a part of me drowned and that’s the part that onced longed for you.

Good bye.

 Never going near water ever again.

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36 thoughts on “Thoughts After My Near Death Experience. (Drowning)

  1. Beautifully written, Farwa! Such a touching post. The survival and the goodbye. The fact that you and your family survived, and you got inspired to write this, is simply amazing. God loves you all, and I’m happy for you.

    Do take care and stay blessed.🌷🌺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kip! I don’t intend to pursue writing as a career I only write to know if there is someone who understands and surprisingly there always is. The response from people like you is the reason that I actually started writing. People like you who understand that every piece of writing consist of a part of its writer. Thank you for showing compassion to the part of me that appeared on your computer screen.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’ve got a beautiful heart, Farwa, and it shows in your writings. It’s quite easy to relate with it, especially with like minds. You will always have people who will identify with your writings. It was my pleasure all the way!🌷🌺

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Grabbety after exactly two months I went back to that river although shivers were running down my spine I mustered up the courage to go and dip my hands in it. That was enough for me to overcome my fear. Now I’m doing much better.

      Liked by 1 person

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