Who Decides What One Deserves?

Here is the thing, I’m not entirely a pious person, never was & probably never will be. However, when I look up at the sky, I have a roof keeping me safe and sound. I have food to eat and clothes to wear. And while I enjoy these privileges:

A child downtown is being abused.

Somewhere in the neighborhood a family is sleeping hungry because they can’t afford food for the night.

The woman next door is a victim of constant domestic violence.

Somewhere someone’s daughter is holding a blade to her wrist.

Somewhere in the world a vulnerable woman is being raped.

Somewhere someone innocent is becoming a victim of war crimes.

Somewhere near me a sick minded person is abusing an animal for their own benefits.

Somewhere a pair of teenage siblings has become a pair of orphans due to a car crash.

In the hospital, someone’s mother has lost her battle with cancer.

Terrible, terrible inevitable things are happening while most of us sit in front of the computer and complain about our 9-5 jobs. Usually so oblivious to the chaos around me, tonight, I sit here thinking:

What have they done to deserve this affliction?

No.

What have I done to deserve these privileges?

This question is akin to questioning the very existence of our universe.

Like, why did God make this world so colorful when the world could easily survive being monochromatic? | Why are there four states of matter when He could just make a single state & bless us with the strength to survive in it? | Why are there so many skin colors? Colors, due to which white men are claimed to be superior & black inferior whereas brown skinned people like us are standing somewhere in between but still closer to latter. |

When we are young and ask these questioned, we are silenced. We are told it is futile to ask such questions because a human brain isn’t developed enough to interpret the sagacity behind Almighty’s creation. But I think I know the answer.

God has made us so different because He has been looking forward to the day when the differences won’t matter, and we’ll be humans first and rest of the things later.

No, these people in power will not save us. We have to save ourselves and the world. It’s true we can’t control the natural casualties but what about the man-made catastrophes? Instead of debating that which President & PM will be better to improve our country how about we become the figures to improve not just our country but the world.

It’s time we promote love by respecting each other’s differences and over-looking them when necessary.

It’s time we save a bit money from our pocket money for the people who sleep hungry at night. | It’s time we volunteer to provide assistance & coordination in different orphanages & hospitals. | It’s time we stop treating victims like they’re victims & start applauding them for being survivors.| It’s time we stop letting money, color and creed define our compatibility with others. | It’s time we stop depending on Biden, Trump, Modi, Khan, or Shareef for change and become the change. |

It’s time we realize that the things we call our rights are actually considered privileges by a lot.

It’s time we start working towards building a non-discriminatory world.

You & I can make a lot of difference.

Let’s do it together.

My Aesthetic Alternate

I saw her today.

The aesthetic alternate who bestowed upon you everything that I denied you. She walked past me so gracefully that I could’ve easily mistaken her for a Duchess; her beauty as tender and lavishing as the silk scarf that embraced the cascade of her dark, Rapunzel-like hair.

I? I was a damsel in distress.

I hope it’s not a phase like it was with me.

I Wasn’t Transforming I Was Hating (Part-1/2)

8:25 am

A chill ran down my spine as I approached my friend who just collapsed on the floor without a warning. I try to pick her up but she slips from my embrace back on the ground making a thud sound. Helpless, I move back as other people help her up. I just stand there shivering. No one knows what I know. The doctors had said that due to a non-operatable cyst in one of the critical parts of her hindbrain she won’t be able to live for long. I know this other people in the room don’t.
Is she dying?

9: 15 am

She survives.

She’s fine now.

I’m focusing on keeping my breathing normal and I keep staring at the teacher not hearing what he’s saying.

2:00 pm

I go back to my dorm, lie down on my unmade bed and try to disappear in the sheets. I fall asleep and I’m floating or it’s just a dream.

4: 30 pm

I’m at the bank of a river holding on to something, I’m coughing as if I was drowning & someone pulled me out of the water. I look back and I see my family drowning. 

I’m helpless once again.  

I wake up. 

It was a nightmare, a recurring one. I think it’s because I can’t recover from the time I almost drowned but didn’t.

I get up make myself a cup of tea and go out for a walk. 

5:00 pm

There’s something stuck at the back of my mind it seems to be there since the night my sister’s friend died right after taking her very last examination of MBBS. (Dr. Arooj I hope you’re at a better place) 

As I take another sip of my tea I realise what’s bothering me. It’s a comment someone left on my blog.

What was the comment?

Something about hate.

Who hated whom?

Then it comes to me, a vivid recollection of a comment saying there’s too much hatred in my writing.

“Rubbish!”, I whisper, ” It’s not hate, I tell people to keep their guards up that’s not hating.. that’s protecting. I don’t promote hate, do I? It’s called playing safe.”

Now, I’m not sure if I believe this or am just trying to make myself believe this.

So was it all hatred that I developed inside me that I proudly called my transformation?

Part-2 ahead.

Approval Comes From Within.

She was scrolling through her facebook newsfeed when she came across the pictures of the party thrown about three days ago. She was very excited to see the pictures and clicked the album without wasting a single second.  As the torment of familiar faces came pouring down on her computer screen there was one face that she didn’t like ironically that was the face she was most familiar with. There between flood of human faces it was her own face that made her cringe a bit inside. She saw all other smiling faces of her friends with smudged make up and messed up hair but it was her own face that looked the most messed up. Then her gaze fell on another picture of her in which she’s standing there with her arms around Alina’s neck. She looked so fat and so small.
She checked the privacy status of those pictures; Public.
“Oh My God! How many people will see that ugly face of mine!” She screamed.
“How can I look pretty when God has made me this way? I can’t go for a plastic surgery.”

She was now lying on the floor looking at the fan , tears welled up in her eyes. She looked at the ton of make-up set up on her dressing table and thought to herself that how these expensive cosmetics were of no use to her natural ugliness. Days passed and everyday she kept caking her face with make-up and putting a smile on like a cherry at the top of that cake.. and this kept going on for days. No one actually ever commented on her but she always thought that maybe people were gossiping behind her back about her make-up being too cake-y or that how she was so artificial.

One day she read a quote in one of the self-help books “Approval comes from within”

Voice of silence that echoed more than her anguish screams. A drum beating advisor appeared within herself and whispered near her ear, whisper or epiphany?

As you can tell everything changed from that moment and the preposterous dressing and make-up routines were replaced by satisfaction and happiness. She walked the streets with her head held up high and her chest swollen with pride of being “herself” in the world of stereotypes.

Thank you Bashar for helping me out with this one.❤

Yes I Was Raped.

Dying.. It looks so easy in the movies. A person just dies due to sickness and yet it’s been two years since the night that the fatal sickness crippled under my skin, stained my heart jet black and my clothes blood red and I’m still breathing. I wonder how my heart and lungs are still working knowing that..

….To the world I am just a worthless insect that everyone wants to crush.

To the world I am a caged animal, they point fingers at me.

To the world, I am a chewing gum under the seat that they accidentally come in contact with and are disgusted to their guts.

To the world, I am a rotten wound that heals slowly but leaves a mark as a reminder.

To the world, I’m a timebomb. They need to learn that everything with a clock doesn’t blow up.

To the world, I am a book of pornography that everyone wants to read but no one wants to be seen holding.

To the world, I am an oppressed creature that would be better off dead.

To the world, I am a disgrace to my parents’ reputation…

Does a broken, pitiable, characterless raped girl like me have the right to ask a question without​ people turning their faces away from me? I have a question for this so called respectable society that disowns a raped victim and tells her she’s the one who’s at fault.

WHAT WAS MY FAULT?

…So I was at fault when I cried for help at the top of my lungs and no one came to rescue me, rather the people stood there or ran away from there.

I was at fault when I tried to help myself by struggling and broke my nails and various bones along with my hopes and dreams.

I was at fault when after they left me there half-naked on the ground numb with pain and longing for death no one bothered checking on me.   

I was at fault when not even the death came to my rescue and I walked shoeless and drenched in blood through the streets and the audience didn’t come near me.

I was at fault when I knocked the door of my parents’ home as a cry for help in front of everyone and became a disgrace to my parents’ reputation…

I was at fault so my life is a living hell and the guys who did this to me get to live in peace. Why? because being raped is a shameful thing and being a rapist is not?

Yes, I was raped but I no longer wear that shame as a dress. I no longer wear the perfume of regret. I no longer try to put together my broken heart because my pride is my armour. I’m proud that I survived. I survived.

Picture Source:- Google.

The Thirsty Crow (Re-Created)

 

As we grow up we realize why were we told the story of “The Thirsty Crow” when we were kids. That it wasn’t just a story it was a lesson. A lesson that our teachers tried to teach us and prepare us for since our childhood but failed to make us understand that one day we’ll be running here and there all alone as the scorching sun will shine over our heads​ and condense every little luxury that our surrounding will hold. From that day pebble by pebble we’ll make every possible effort to reduce our unquenchable thirst for all the worldly stuff that are all so over-the-top necessary for living, as necessary as the water is for any living being.

But in the kids’ tale the crow finally drank enough water and flew away with satisfaction. The story never told us what happened when the crow got thirsty again. If the weather was actually boiling hot and the summer was scorching then what did the crow do later for his thirst? Did he look for another pot of water? ’cause as humans there’s no such word as “satisfaction” in our dictionary and we keep looking for another pot and then another and another and another. We struggle to find unnecessary comfort and luxuries in our life.

The thing that the children’s story didn’t teach us is that sometimes life turns into a quick-sand. The more you struggle the faster you sink.The secret of surviving is knowing that no one has ever completely drowned in a quick-sand. It’s okay to stop the struggle just for once and take a look around and enjoy the nature because even when we’re “in the woods” we can find the trees beautiful. This life is like a mountain and living is like climbing. Sometimes we can take a moment, stop climbing and take a look around to enjoy the view because we all know Life’s a climb but the view is great. Worrying only doubles the sufferings.

What To Do With All This Love?

Picture by Chaira Batista.
Source: Pinterest.

What do I see when I look at this picture?

Honestly, I don’t see a bunny-girl and her pet wolf, that’s absurd! I see two elements, two totally different elements. The difference can be of any type e.g color, creed, race, nationality and even species. The point is that they are very different but there they are sitting in silence interacting with eachother in silence, not a single word is being spoken, no exchange of dialogues but they both are bounded by a force. What is the force or the bond? That’s love portrayed by the creator through the process in which she’s knitting the sweater for the wolf from her heart.That’s love because love doesn’t need words or promises, it requires actions and actions speak louder than words.

What do I see when I look around me?

I see absence of love that has led us to hatred and this hatred is leading us to wars and chaos. Some writers and philosophers are considering this era as  the “decline of humanity” also due to lack of love.

Chaira Batista and I pretty much share the same point of view. Through text at the bottom of the picture she’s asking everyone a question

What to do with all this love?

Then through her art she has very intellectually and beautifully answered her own question. We all are born with basic emotions. No one is deprived of love from birth. How are we supposed to use this love? This love is supposed to be spread and given to people inferior to us, to people superior to us, to every single human being and animal on planet Earth irrespective of the differences.

She is portraying the sort of love Nicholas Sparks has quoted in his famous novel, “A Walk To Remember”

Quote

This has been my all time favorite quote ❤

But true love seems so rare in today’s world that it feels like it only exists in books. 

This world has turned into a rotten wound that keeps getting more and more decayed day by day. How can this infection, this disease and this misery be eliminated? Through the spread of love.

If we love other races as much as we love ours we can eliminate Racism.

If we love women enough to give them equal rights as men we can eliminate  Feminism.

If we  love animals enough to keep them safe we can eliminate Animal Rights Violence.

If we love our fellow humans enough there won’t be Terrorism.

But in today’s world I see “Pursuit of power” more than “Pursuit of love” and that is the reason we lack peace in the world. If we need international,national and personal peace we require love. As Jimi Hendrix said:

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world be at peace.

My Favorite Person.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

-Walter Winchell

As I like to metaphorically put in words. I set everything around me on fire and nobody was brave enough to jump into it to save me but he, he walked in oblivious of the fire and decided to stay pretending that he liked playing with it.

So many times people have told  me that there are always two sides of a person and looks can be deceiving. He practically proved that. I mean when I saw him he looked like an angel. To be honest I think I saw a ring over his head too and in our first encounter I was the outspoken, slightly confused and awkward one where as he, shy and decent one. To my family he’s nothing but the most decent guy to ever walk on Earth.

Let me explain. He is an entire 5’11 of pure evilness he can fool the world with his shaggy brown hair and dark brown eyes but not me. I see him exactly as he is and he is the devil reincarnated. Unfortunately he’s an exact definition of pure perfection and being next to him makes me drown in self-pity.

The question is why is this monstrous creature my “favorite person”

He’s that one person who listens to my messed up stories even though I don’t make sense most of the time. He tells me it’s okay to be different. He stands at the highest peak of the mountain but still manages to help the people below him. He’s an evil manipulator with a soft heart. He cares about people and their health but he doesn’t care a wee bit about himself and after arguing with him for the past five months I have realized that it’s better to not argue with him because arguing with him is like killing brain cells and I drew a conclusion that he’s not just a sadist, a lying evil manipulator, a scheming arrogant jerk who thinks way too highly of himself just because girls go crazy over him but he’s also suicidal and will rather jump in his grave than take a painkiller.

The explanation I gave may seem like he’s anything but “favorite” to me but the truth is even though he’s my personal bully and I seem to hate him most of the time, there’s nothing but adoration and love for him in my heart and he will never let anyone hurt me because only he has the right to do so. He can fix all my problems (most of them are caused my him though) with just a simple act of another uncanny idiocy that seems to run in his veins and this makes me wonder how is this idiot, who is actually the same age as mine,earning so much money whereas I’m in a university trying to study Shakespeare.💗

Cyber bullying and Anti-meme me!

This refers to memes that are trolling pictures of real people.

Memes are funny, I admit and I share lots of them on my facebook account but there’s a story behind every meme there is either a person being trolled or being bullied just because of a stupid picture or something stupid they said. We all say stupid stuff, don’t we?

If every stupid thing I said and every ugly face I made had gone on internet then I would be the biggest meme queen of this century, trust me and I know many people can relate to me right now.

Anyway, I have a friend who can’t pronounce the word “spaghetti “ That’s just the way her tongue works no matter how hard she tries she ends up mixing up the word and says “sagapati”. Being her best friends it’s our duty to pull her leg over this and Oh! we do.  It’s okay when we tease her in a room or a private place but in public she feels like the same group of besties, she shares her life with, are bullying her publicly and as soon as we realized that she thought of this leg-pull as an offensive act of making her ashamed of her disability to pronounce a few words we stopped teasing her.

Thinking about this I wonder how do the people who are being trolled by thousands and millions of people on internet feel? That’s cyber bullying, worst way of hurting a person’s feelings.

When I shared a meme about a black person with a text written over his face making fun of him or his facial expression I was bullying him. A picture indirectly saying Taylor Swift had too many past love-affairs is slut-shaming. A picture saying Justin Bieber’s gait  is like a girl’s is bullying that’s basically calling him gay and what kind of straight person likes being called a gay or a girl being called a whore? And the list goes on and on. I get it we all don’t have a common fanbase but there’s one thing that we all have in common and that is we all are Homo sapiens. Yes we all are humans. We all share common emotions. If an unknown reader comments hateful stuff on my blog I’ll be hurt. What good has hatred ever brought to us?  Don’t think of anyone the way you wouldn’t want others to think of you.

But again there are so many people who ask for it.

They go on making themselves internet famous by dissing people and bitching about them. These kinds of people get loads of negative remarks. I mean they make up such stuff as cheap publicity stunts and it’s good for them. They’re doing themselves wrong. They are the people who trigger this for themselves. The worst part is that they actually get successful in triggering hatred from the people. They are a successful stimuli and we just look at them and pour streams of hatred all over the internet. Whether we accept it or not but we fall into a category of cyber-bullying.  I’m a cyber-bully and so is almost everyone in this world right now and it’s wrong on so many different levels.

Let’s stop pitting people against people; a friend against another friend; a celebrity against another celebrity; a dog lover against a cat lover; homosexuals against homo-phobics; Muslims against non-Muslims; black people against white ones; Americans against non-Americans. We need to stop this right now. We need to live and let others live.

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.

-Mother Teresa

There are so many haters in the world, we can’t beat them but that doesn’t mean we have to join them. Let’s minimize the casualties we are causing and hearts we are breaking every day.

____________________________________________________________________

One can always enjoy dog and cat memes or the cartoonish ones. Something that is harmless.

All picture credits: Google.